Our Shows
Lights, Curtain, Action
We wouldn't be a drama society if we didn't put on a show now and then!
We typically have two performances per year, an autumn and spring production, and also offer opportunities to get involved in smaller plays and showcases alongside these.
Our plays are written mostly with families in mind, with plenty of slapstick, daftness and general panto humour.
We love to be loud and unusual. If you like the sound of that, have a look at our upcoming production, or pull back the curtain on our plays of the past in the USLES archive.
It's time to get your silly on!
Upcoming Production
Summoning Morphsuit Gary
​​By Beth Walker Mackay
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Ten years ago, Morphsuit Gary – superpowered interdimensional fugitive, presidential candidate, toy panda thief – was banished from the universe as punishment for general naughtiness. In those years, the land has fallen into the grip of an evil Tyrant. However, a small band of heroes embark on a quest to restore Gary to his former glory, pursued by not just the Tyrant’s agents, but also the most terrible villain the world has ever seen; Igor the incompetent. Throw in an alien horse, a struggling circus, a regular horse, assorted palace guards and a tree, and the stage is set for chaos! This December, join USLES for their brand-new, Semester One, not-at-all-a-Christmas-play play in Raynor Lounge – and watch out for those hounds!​
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10th and 11th December 2024 (6:30pm)
14th December (2:30pm)
Raynor Lounge, Bar One
The USLES Archive
USLES was founded all the way back in 2007, which means we've put on a lot of shows in our time!
It's always good to remind ourselves where we've come from.
Our archive contains a selection of our most recent productions and some old classics.
Placeholder: the Musical!
What is Placeholder: the Musical, you ask? Why, my dear child, it is beyond description! I guess you'll simply have to come along and find out. One thing's for certain though, it's definitely a real show and not just one I'm making up off the top of my head to fill this spot on the website layout. Of course, hypothetically, it would be a little frustrating if your website's layout depended on having an even number of previous shows to display, forcing you to come up with a placeholder every time an odd-numbered show came along. But that's never happened to us, so we're fine.
The Shivers
The past. The tiny German(?) kingdom of Burtsburg. King Frederick, seeking to get rid of his haunted castle, has promised to marry off his daughter, Princess Ildrid, to whoever can stay in the building for three nights straight.
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Ildrid, being a Girlboss™, is eager to stay unmarried and resolves to use her magical powers to prevent anyone staying in the castle. But she didn’t count on the sudden appearance of Bartholomew Pisnopance, an absolute himbo too stupid to understand fear and determined to try nonetheless.
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Will Bartholomew survive three nights in the castle, and finally learn what fear is? Will Ildrid continue to slay, or find herself trapped in marriage? In Burtsburg, things are never so simple, or even logical…
Chosen Ones
​Cecity. A city of fictional heroes great and small, with a more villainous underbelly. Ostracised for too long, supreme villainess Lady Maleficent foretells a great prophecy: one of an ultimate villain who will lead a band of foes to bring all heroes to their knees once and for all.
Captain Hook, Victor Frankenstein, Count Dracula and Madame Fatale unite (with the help of their lackey Wiglaf) to find "the Wish"—an orb with the power to grant a singular desire—and return it to the vengeful Maleficent. But things are never that easy in Teriarnva. Will there ever be a happy ending? Join us in USLES's new musical to find out.
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The Cheese Time
Welcome one and all, to the world of the Cheese Time! A joyful holiday filled with cheese and physics, a time to spend with family and look back on the long year past.
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But all is not well in the Cheese Dimension. Cheese is disappearing at an alarming rate, and less and less is being given back. Together, an emo Cheese Time-skeptic, an anxious social mastermind and a physics student from our universe -- nay, our own university -- must join forces to infiltrate the Camembert to uncover the truth of the Cheese Time...
Whose Immortal?
There’s one big question that plagues Florence Wentz, lawyer at Hot Topic: Who wrote what is considered to be the worst fanfiction of all time, My Immortal? Soon, it becomes a race against time to uncover the author before she loses her job and her reputation, something that the world famous Detective Danny Yolk, who was hired to help her, knows a lot about. Who is Toby? What crimes did Beans commit? Will Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way ever get along with the preps? And why are there so many egg puns?
Join us to find the true author and not just some poser.
The Wayfarers' Hotel
Sage Hazeldine does not believe in witches.
Unfortunately, a lack of belief in them doesn't stop them from getting cursed by one. With their heart turned three-quarters into tinfoil, they relent themselves to the instructions of a mysterious letter, and head into the depths of the 'Yushant - Pass' forest. There they discover a magical hotel, and meet the strange clientele who reside there - watched over by the talented and eccentric Lady Fortuna.
What shall become of Sage? Will the Lady Fortuna find a cure? Will the swordsman and the road-pirate ever get along? And who is Conniving Ceith? There's only one way to find out...
Murder in the Cabbage Patch
In the quaint village of Upton, just north of the M27, the cabbage crazed locals discover the body of the "famous" writer Jeremy Beremy dead in the cabbage patch. Needing closure, his ghost seeks out the help of a misguided detective and their bright, young nephew to find answers at the shady Balls estate, where not everything is as idyllic as it seems...
But is this dynamic duo up to the task when everyone else seem more concerned about whether their cabbages are safe from the elusive Upton Cabbage Snatcher?
Find out in this wacky and cabbage-filled USLES play, oh and don't forget to try some of Maisie's banana crumble, I hear it's to die for...
Poor Dead Hedgehogs
After moving from the city in an attempt to escape the incessance of their old lives, an aspiring florist, a movie-obsessed drifter, a melodramatic painter and a cheese enthusiast end up in a town called Shannock.
Thinking their hectic lives are over, they try to fit in with the town—and the few oddballs it has to offer.
However, with funerals on the rise and a bouquet inciting death through the post, it becomes apparent that perhaps the rural villages are just as troublesome as the city.
Bestseller
Jennifer Harrison is a tragically bad author of such books as The Great Catsby, Moby Richard and Wuthering Lows.
After her agent demands a lucrative tale, she attempts to draft her new novel, the story of a failing circus troupe conveniently given a chance to participate in Circuses Got Talent, 7pm on ITV7.
As she writes, her characters come to life acting out her every word, but they soon become wise to how terrible she truly is at writing, endeavoring to sabotage the plot in order to save what little story they have.
Will Jennifer be able to get her characters under control in time to write a decent story worthy of becoming a bestseller?
Ballad of the Last Dragon
Forget swiping right, in the kingdom of Yutwot marriage is decided by dragons.
The process is really quite simple, all you've got to do is kidnap and lock a princess in an inconveniently placed tower guarded by a dragon, then recruit eligible bachelors to go to the rescue said princess and slay the dragon.
Unfortunately for Cass, this dragon is the last of its kind and has vengeance on its mind. Will she ever escape with her life and cheat the system or will she be forced to marry that dimwit of a prince from Peezof.
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Join her, Ari, the princess, Xander, the stable boy, and Pip, the large hairy guy (or maybe he's horse? Who knows?) in this wacky radio play that parodies the cliché damsel, tower, dragon plot.
Tales From The Olden Days
Life on Mars
The Hobbit: Desolation of USLES
The Dreaded Henderson Hurler
I Know What You Did Last Wednesday
Around the World in 45 Minutes
Kuzco
They Are All USLES!
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Panto
Titus
Aladdin
Swan Lake
Robin Hood and the Babes in the Wood
Star Potter and the Fellowship of the Sith
Not Another Hero
The Tempest
Beware The Story Book Wolves
Titus (again)
Dick Whittington
The Little Mermaid​
Frankenstein
Cinderella
Beauty and the Beast
Peter Pan
Snow White
Dracula
Jack and the Beanstalk